I Don’t Want to Be Famous (But I Kind of Do)

There’s a quiet battle I don’t always talk about.

I think a lot of people feel it, but few admit it out loud.

I don’t want to be famous.

The idea makes me shudder a bit, actually.

The scrutiny. The pressure. The eyes that see too much and the voices that assume even more.

Fame feels like being constantly lit up under a microscope. A version of success that comes with commentary you didn’t ask for.

But…

I also kind of want to be famous.

Or rather, I want the things that fame seems to bring.

I want to be seen.

I want to be heard.

I want to be respected — not just in the private corners of kind people’s hearts, but loudly. Publicly.

The pull of being known

I want someone to say, “Her work helped me.”

I want my voice to carry further than the room I’m in.

And yes, I want to be paid well for what I create.

Not as an ego stroke — but because I’ve known what it’s like to struggle.

To give more than I had to give.

To live quiet and small because the world made me feel like that was safer.

So here I am — craving visibility and fearing it at the same time.

What a strange place to stand.

The fear behind the spotlight

I’m not scared of being good at what I do.

I’m scared of the weight that comes with being seen doing it.

I want to be the voice in someone’s head that reminds them they’re enough —

but not the one who has to pretend she always is.

I want to be able to pay my bills, create beautiful things,

and have people say, “Lorraine gets it.”

But I don’t want to lose my peace in the process.

What I’ve realised…

Maybe it’s not about fame at all.

Maybe it’s about impact.

Maybe I don’t need millions of eyes on me —

I just need a few people who really feel it when I speak.

Maybe I don’t want to be watched…

I want to be felt.

Heard. Understood. Trusted.

And maybe I don’t want to be famous…

I want to be free.

To do my work.

To rest when I need to.

To be celebrated without being dissected.

To live in my purpose — not perform it.

So here’s what I’m learning:

I can crave recognition without craving chaos.

I can want to be known without needing to be everywhere.

I can chase wealth without chasing fame.

And I can choose peace — even when I still ache to be seen.

If this resonates with you, you’re not alone.

You’re not confused or attention-seeking.

You’re just a soul who wants to live loudly and safely at the same time.

And maybe, just maybe… that’s possible.

🔒 Confidence Unlocked Takeaway:

Impact over attention.

Depth over popularity.

Peace over performance.