Money trauma is real. It’s not just about a bank balance—it’s about how money (or the lack of it) can shape your sense of worth, safety, and identity. For me, that feeling of not having enough has been a shadow in every corner of my life.
I grew up with nothing. My dad was a single father with just four recipes on repeat. We never went on holidays, never went on school trips. Nice clothes? That was a luxury I didn’t dare to dream about. Money was something other people had. In my world, it was always “not enough.” And because of that, I grew up thinking I was “not enough” too.
From being a benefit kid to a care kid, I saw firsthand how money shapes lives. Kids with money walked taller. They wore the clothes that fit in. They had shiny gadgets and easy laughter. I watched from the sidelines, shrinking inside, feeling like my worth was on clearance sale—like the second-hand clothes I wore.
It’s taken me years to understand this: money trauma isn’t just about what’s in your wallet. It’s about how you see yourself, how you expect to be treated by the world. It seeps into everything—like how I’d say no to things I wanted because I felt I didn’t deserve them. Or how I’d spend money as soon as I got it, like it was too hot to hold. Or how I’d freeze up in conversations about money, sure that everyone else had it all figured out and I was the only one lost.
The Cost of Living Crisis Today
And now? The cost of living is rising higher than ever, and it’s like my childhood is playing out on repeat for millions of children today. Over 4.5 million kids in the UK are living in relative poverty—almost a third of all children. They’re growing up with empty fridges, worn-out uniforms, and that same tight knot in their stomachs I remember so well.
I know what that does to a child’s confidence. When you don’t have enough, you feel like you’re not enough. That’s what money trauma does—it tells you to play small, to expect less, to never ask for more. And it doesn’t end when you grow up. It seeps into your job interviews, your relationships, your dreams.
The Power of Financial Literacy
Here’s what I wish I’d known sooner: money trauma doesn’t have to be a life sentence. Learning about money—truly learning, not just crunching numbers—has been one of the most healing things I’ve done for my confidence. Because when you understand money, you stop being afraid of it. You stop letting it decide your worth.
Financial literacy isn’t just about budgeting or investing. It’s about teaching yourself, step by step, that you deserve security. That you deserve to have choices. That you’re allowed to want more than survival. And for kids growing up in poverty today, it’s the difference between feeling trapped by their circumstances and seeing a door they can open.
My Journey: From Scarcity to Self-Worth
I’m still on this journey, and some days it’s messy. Some days I still feel that old shame creeping in—like I’m not allowed to talk about money, not allowed to want it. But here’s what I know now: I’m not that little girl anymore. I’m not just a “benefit kid.” I’m not just someone who never went on holiday. I’m someone who can rewrite my story, one honest conversation at a time.
I’m telling my story. No more silence. Shame thrives in the dark, so I’m shining a light on it. I’m learning, step by step. No finance degree, just curiosity and compassion for myself. Tracking my spending, learning how to save—baby steps, but they matter. I’m giving myself grace. My past wasn’t my fault. I didn’t choose to be a child in poverty, and I’m done punishing myself for it. I’m choosing to believe I’m worthy. Money isn’t a measure of my worth. It’s a tool I can learn to use.
A Note to Anyone Who Feels the Same
If you’re reading this and feeling the same ache I’ve carried, please know this: you’re not alone. Money trauma is sneaky and stubborn, but it’s not who you are. Your worth was never meant to be measured in pounds or pence. You deserve to stand tall, to speak up, to feel safe and seen—no matter what your bank balance says.
Let’s rewrite our money stories together. Let’s teach ourselves—and our children—that confidence isn’t just for those with money. It’s for all of us, because we’re all worthy of a life that feels rich in every way.
Love Lorraine x
Confidence Unlocked 
Leave a comment