Let’s get honest for a second: building confidence isn’t always a straight line. When anxiety is in the picture, it can feel like every step forward is met with a hundred quiet doubts whispering, “Are you sure you can do this?” I know that feeling because I’ve lived it.
For the longest time, I thought confidence and anxiety couldn’t exist together. I thought that to be confident, I had to “get rid” of my anxiety first—like it was some flaw I had to fix before I deserved to feel strong. But here’s the truth I’ve learned, piece by piece: confidence doesn’t come from eliminating anxiety. It comes from learning to walk beside it.
🌿 The Real Work: Holding Both at Once
Confidence isn’t about waking up one day with no fears, no worries, no racing thoughts. It’s about learning to trust yourself despite those things. To say to yourself:
“I feel anxious, and I’m still going to show up.”
“I’m scared, and I’m still worthy of this moment.”
That’s real confidence. It’s the quiet decision to be kind to yourself, even when your mind is noisy.
For me, the first shift was realizing that my anxiety didn’t make me weak—it made me human. And that messy, human part of me? That’s where my confidence started to grow.
🌿 What Helped Me Start to Trust Myself
Here’s what I’ve found—these are the real, daily practices that helped me feel more steady and more sure of who I am, even on the hard days:
✅ 1. Replacing the harsh voice with a kind one.
When anxiety gets loud, my inner critic usually joins the party: “You’re not good enough. You’ll never figure this out.” So I started to rewrite that voice, gently:
“I’m allowed to feel scared.”
“I don’t need to be perfect to be enough.”
It’s not about silencing the doubts entirely—it’s about choosing which voice I let take the lead.
✅ 2. Focusing on what’s in my control.
Anxiety thrives on the unknown. I found peace in focusing on small, daily choices: drinking water, getting fresh air, saying no when I needed to. These are tiny actions, but they’re also proof that I can trust myself to make decisions that feel right.
✅ 3. Learning to pause, not power through.
For a long time, I thought confidence meant always pushing forward, never letting anyone see me struggle. But I’ve learned that true confidence sometimes looks like resting, taking a breath, or saying, “I need a moment.” Pausing isn’t failing—it’s part of taking care of myself.
✅ 4. Letting myself be seen—mess and all.
I spent years trying to “look” confident: always put together, never admitting doubt. But the real magic happened when I let people see me as I was—shaky, unsure, but still here. Because the truth is, vulnerability doesn’t weaken your confidence—it deepens it.
✅ 5. Remembering that I’m not behind.
Anxiety often tells me I’m late to the party—like everyone else has their life together except me. But confidence grows when I remind myself:
“There’s no timeline. There’s no race. My pace is enough.”
🌿 It’s Not About Perfection—It’s About Permission
What I’ve learned, and what I hope you’ll take from this, is that confidence isn’t some shiny finish line you cross once and for all. It’s a practice—like breathing, like nourishing yourself, like saying “yes” to yourself in small ways every day.
You don’t have to be perfectly calm to feel worthy. You don’t have to be fearless to feel strong. You’re allowed to feel anxious and confident at the same time. You’re allowed to take up space exactly as you are.
🌿 If You’re Nodding Along…
If you’re reading this and feeling that quiet “me too,” know that you’re not alone. I see you. You’re not behind, you’re not broken, and you’re not alone in this. Confidence is already in you—it’s just waiting for you to trust it.
If you’d like more gentle, practical ways to feel at home in yourself—no matter how loud your anxiety gets—download my free Confidence Kit here: Or join my email community for weekly reminders that confidence can be soft, slow, and beautifully yours: https://mailchi.mp/19595d11b8f5/confidence-kit
You deserve to feel powerful and at peace in your own skin. Let’s keep unlocking that confidence, together.
With love,
Lorraine 🌟✨
Confidence Unlocked 
Leave a comment